• Tiye Naeemah Cort

New Year, New What?

Ladies, a vision board, post-it notes, lipstick messages on mirrors, jars with 365 days worth of good things, color-coded planners, Excel sheets for the inconsequential, and deciding that this new year will create a “new you” won’t change a damn thing if it’s only creating someone who is reliant upon constant positive reinforcement. If it were only a personal thing, I would let it slide, but the fact that this mess appears on my Facebook Feed, Snapchat and Instagram Stories, and Twitter Timeline lets me know that not only are you doing this stuff for yourselves, but you’re also seeking approval from social media to say that it’s OK. It’s not, doe. And maybe it just says something about the females I choose to follow on social media who are otherwise very confident, strong, and intelligent women. We all have our insecurities that lie beneath, but take care not to scare people away by brandishing them with calligraphic captions and pretty colors.


    Why have I seen countless event invitations to vision board parties- gatherings where people (usually single women) meet up to create boards that will display pictures, inspirational quotes, goals, and whatever else you can find in the media- all to be displayed in a visible place in their homes? And some of the hosts of these “parties” have the NERVE to charge attendees. That’s what I thought the Pinterest was for… Think about it, do you really need a daily reminder in your living room to tell you to lose a couple of pounds, be bold and beautiful, and to love yourself this year? Are those types of things easily forgotten?


    The idea of a jar that will hold 365 nice notes to myself by the end of the year is nauseating. How about keeping a diary? Be real with yourself and document the good and the bad. Remembering all of the good things will not erase difficult times and memories. What is this obsession with constant positivity?


    We often underestimate ourselves once we fail to reach our overestimated goals. And that’s probably the reason why they’re not reached. Why set a weight loss goal if you know your diet isn’t going to change? Why plan to stop procrastinating if you put off that goal itself for a year? Guess what, you can restart ANY goal at ANY time. No inspirational message, board plastered with pictures, or cute little sticky notes will hold you accountable because only you can control what you actually accomplish.


    This fascination with the obsessive nature of planning, scheduling, and a constant push to live so vigorously is unrealistic because there are times when you simply chill, and unless you’re a fan of burning out early, it’s ok to embrace that life isn’t always about constantly smiling, laughing, or being at your best. Sometimes it’s about being alone with a glass of wine and watching the Real Housewives argue about who made fun of who’s house. Sometimes it’s about scrolling through Instagram for outfit inspo for your next vacation. None of these things can (or should) be scheduled, and that’s ok because life doesn’t run on a definite schedule.


    It’s cute to claim a new beginning at the beginning of a new year. It’s up there with being proposed to on Valentine’s Day, and I just happen to love Valentine’s Day so, for that reason, I’m not knocking the idea completely. All I’m saying is to make sure that you don’t get unrealistically wrapped up in the idea of newness if it doesn’t make sense for you. I hope you all become healthier, get more organized, and build your self esteem in 2017 and forever. There’s no shame in wasting a perfectly good lipstick on writing “Live. Laugh. Love.” on your bathroom mirror, but… ugh, just don’t. OK?

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