• Tiye Naeemah Cort


Or my personal favorites

Facebook statuses with desperate hashtags- you gotta love 'em. If you (or a friend) have ever ended a post with anything similar to the aforementioned, this one is for you!

First of all- STOP. We get it, you're single. Shout it from the roof tops if you must, but get over yourself. Second, do you know how many women are out there who are single and actually patiently waiting for a man to come and sweep them off their feet? I'm not condoning twiddling your thumbs and hoping for a male savior to come through, but being single and seeking someone to partner up with does not mean that it's time to post social media thirst traps. These hasthagfoolery labels actually drive people away- men and women, friends and family, real friends and trollers. We all get sick of seeing that you're up to the same antics of posting dishes you've made to show that you are learning/know how to cook, not for your own enjoyment and survival, but in preparation for the man that you don't yet have. It's great that you know how to do domestic things. Brava! But why not broadcast things that show that you're happy, content, and able to take care of yourself just for the heck of it?

Posting a pic of your feet up at the movies, showing that you're there solo is not newsworthy. How was the film? Do you recommend it? Did you finish a blue ICEE all on your own? I never understood how women, especially those who are well-educated and independent, could lead lives that seemed so fulfilling yet be sad and afraid because they view their singleness as an inescapable trap. Chill with the "sad and single" narrative and live life beyond the "someday he'll come" mentality.

What if you're meant to be single? What if he never comes? Will you really have nothing to look back on but photos of dinners you've prepared in hopes of attracting the perfect guy through hashtags and captions?

I'll admit, I've posted photos of myself on social media, completely aware that my legs are a mile long and I'm built like Kelly Rowland. I've also posted photos of the Thanksgiving FEAST I prepared a couple years back as well as my BOMB banana bread and cookies. I hope you saw all that- all of y'all. I also hope that some day you will be blessed to taste some of those dishes because I made them for my family, my students, and myself... because I was hungry. We all fall into the thirst trap trap, but when you're intentionally saying "I'm single and ready to mingle and here's all the evidence that proves that I can be a good wife because who wants to be a girlfriend forever anyway, and I hope you like chicken because I have my grandmother's recipe in the back of the notebook where I wrote down who I've already chosen as bridesmaids in our wedding- I hope you have 5 really tall single friends for them- and we'll have 2.5 kids who will all have names that start with K...", it's time to stop.

Step away from the internet and find some joy and contentment in a hobby, volunteer somewhere, go back to school, travel, exercise, go see a play, buy yourself something nice, do SOMEthing other than drive everyone away or into neverending eye rolls by sitting in front of your Facebook or Instagram posting and adding the hashtags that KEEP you unhappily single.

And as for the #waitingforBoaz girls, you may want to go back and read the book of Ruth. Really take some time to study it. Ruth never had to tell Boaz anything about her ability to be a good wife, he already knew about her. She didn't have to say a thing about what she could do and she actually wasn't too good at field work, but Boaz found out about her and noticed her all along. You don't need to show off to a man who's going to be a Boaz and see you for who you are. You just have to be prepared and meet him at that threshing floor, feel me?

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, I just want the best for y’all. Set yourselves up for success and please don’t post pics of your food unless it actually looks appetizing and I can borrow the recipe. Thank you!


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