• Tiye Naeemah Cort

Beyonce's Three Hearts and Your First World Tears

If you know me well, you know that there are a few things that I find very annoying:

When I order a Coke:

Don’t ask me if Pepsi is OK. No, it is NOT OK. If I wanted Pepsi, I would have ordered a Pepsi. They taste completely different. When I order a Sprite, and a server asks "Is Sierra Mist OK?" No. Actually, it's not. I get it, Sprite is a Coke product, and Sierra Mist is a Pepsi product, and we can get into debates about why Coke products simply taste better than lame Pepsi ones, but don't insult me by offering a lesser product. Ugh.

When I ask someone for gum:

Instead of simply saying "I don't have any", people will often respond with "I have mints." Even "I don't have any BUT I have mints" works, but mints are not mutually exclusive, as far as I am concerned, especially when I am specifically requesting gum.

I asked for gum. Chewy, preferably bubble mint-flavored gum. You’re offering me a non sequitur in the form of a hard peppermint or spearmint crunchy candy, the OPPOSITE of what I asked for, leaving me doubly dissatisfied since I not only did not receive what I requested, but you thought that I would settle for something that in no way meets my need for something to chew for the next hour.

When I read news about Beyoncé:

Yes, it usually sounds like she is the best of the best, and her fans usually speak of her as though she can do no wrong, but there are also the people who (instead of ignoring her) decide to speak out about how dumb it is to be a fan.

She's human, she's beautiful, and she is an amazing entertainer. Why are we becoming haters who fan-shame for being excited whenever she does something? Trust me, your lamentations of her rich and famous lifestyle are nothing more than drops of salty first world tears into a bucket.

On Feb. 1, in the year of our Lord 2017, I woke up from an amazing nap to excited texts that Beyoncé was pregnant with twins. I checked the most reliable sources of Instagram and Facebook for confirmation that "The Onion" had not struck again, and found that a lot of people were up in arms about Beyoncé’s pregnancy being made into such a big deal by her fans. Sure, most who posted about it will not be attending the babies' shower, but members of the beehive are always going to be excited for her. And for people who tried to use the argument that most wouldn’t ever be as excited about pregnancy announcements of friends or people we actually personally know, take a minute to be shallow and recognize that most pregnancy announcements are actually kinda cheesey and unoriginal, and are not posted by people who have millions of fans who have been impatiently waiting for them to have another baby. It’s dumb, I know, but it’s Beyoncé. Face it, everything she does causes a commotion, and seeing her actual pregnant belly caused quite the ruckus. Unlike her last big deal pregnancy announcement, this time she proved that she is actually carrying baies, which she didn’t have to do. Y’all knew the beehive would rejoice. Cut it out.

In pure Beyoncé fashion, she sprung her announcement on the world, and on the first day of black history month, because I’m pretty sure that, like most of us, she is making history- in this case by being the first famous "Beyoncé" to announce her pregnancy with twins.

Sure, there were other more exciting things happening in the world, like my puppy not pooping on my white high-pile area rug that afternoon. There were more important things to post about, like my last blog post *ahem* entitled "That's When They Smile in My Face". But in true social media nature, perusing through a feed or timeline and coming across any Beyoncé news automatically causes pause for most, whether we admit it or not, because at the end of the day it just might be another epic album surprise.

Pregnancy is beautiful and I’m happy for her joy and that of other women who bring life into the world. Posting about it shouldn’t warrant eye rolls or even statuses in negative response. I'm actually glad that people could take a few minutes to post something that didn't revolve around the ugly politics and death happening in the world. The fact that some chose to take a breather to appreciate something good happening in the midst of complete chaos is what most people who tried to call out excited fans chose to overlook. I’m just glad she didn’t post an ultrasound photo. Now THAT would’ve just been gross.

Look at all these first world problems we choose to be annoyed about. If there's something more important or pressing than a Beyoncé pregnancy announcement, post about that instead of berating those who choose to care and congratulate her on her baBeyoncés in the only way that they knew how. Take a break from being sourpusses about such inconsequential things and enjoy the memes that come from such a dramatic announcement. They're actually REALLY funny.


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